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Walking Down The Street in New York – Revisited January 30, 2009

Posted by Robert in Humor, Not Political, Social Commentary, Travel.
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5 comments
Fools!  You should have left home earlier!

Fools! You should have left home earlier!

In one of the earlier posts on this blog, I made an attempt to give some helpful hints to would-be visitors of the fine city of New York, in order to make their trip here more enjoyable.

Specifically, I gave insight on how best to navigate the sidewalks and get to where you’re going without A: Killing Yourself and B: Pissing off the locals.

I felt that I covered the topic in a fair manner and hadn’t thought much about it since I had originally written it.  Then today I was emailed by wordpress and asked to approve a comment from a Fred Berkins in California.  This is the comment.

Dude,
one could also argue that if you are arriving late to work everyday (whether that be because of tourists or not), then you need to set off earlier.

As for the comparison to driving down the road, it’s not really the same is it. It is illegal to stop in the middle of the freeway, it’s not however illegal to stop in the middle of the sidewalk though.

So actually, it’s YOUR PROBLEM !

ist2_2056780_finger_pointing

Well said, or should I say right said, Fred.   Clearly the entire city of New York is simply late all the time and should really take a collective look at their morning routines.  Maybe self evaluation is the key to making the sidewalks of this city easier to navigate.

I also appreciate your keen ability to correctly identify flaws in logic.  You’re right, sidewalks are nothing like freeways.  People can stop walking on sidewalks without fear of being pulled over.  You might also notice that instead of people driving cars on sidewalk, as they would on the freeway, they prefer more humble methods of locomotion like sneakers or loafers.   Gosh, now that I think of it there’s no helpful lines pained on sidewalks either, as there are on highways to indicate lanes and such.

Boy, thank goodness you came along Fred.  For the first time in my life I’ve seen the folly of my ways.  I should really look inward to find my happiness.  I shouldn’t expect people to adapt to their surroundings.

Because you know what they say don’t ‘cha Fred?

When in Rome,  F%*k Rome.

rome-holiday-colosseum-full

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Top 5 songs for when Obama Wins (and 5 for if he doesn’t) November 4, 2008

Posted by Robert in Election 08, Humor, Politics, Social Commentary.
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1 comment so far

highfidelity460

So depending on when you’re reading this,  Barack Obama may have been elected as the next president of The United States of America.   Or, John McCain may have defied all the odds and pulled this out.

If Obama has pulled this out and secured the presidency, then I give you my top 5 songs to celebrate an Obama victory.

1.  The Times They Are A Changin’ – Bob Dylan

This song is just as relevant as it was decades ago when Dylan wrote it.  Sadly the times didn’t exactly a’change as quickly as the song promised.  But, now that our country has elected the first African American president, hopeful some real change is headed our way.

2.  Growing On Me – The Darkness

This gem from the short lived neo-arena rockers The Darkness is a perfect song for those that didn’t vote for Barack, but soon realize that he’s everything they’ve ever wanted in a president.   Don’t be afraid McCain voters, he won’t bite.

3.  Black President – Nas

Um… Really? Do you need an explanation for this one?

4.  Cry Me A River – Justin Timberlake

This one is for all of the Haters you will no doubt hear that say an Obama presidency will be the end of this country as we know it.  Only the chorus is relevant, so I recommend you put that part on loop, crank up your system and drive around anyone’s house that still has their McCain/Palin sign in their front yard.

5. A Change is Gonna Come – Sam Cooke

People get ready.  Yes We Can has become Yes We Did.  Love it or hate it, change is on it’s way.

That is, unless…

John McCain has won.   If he has, you will need these 5 songs to get you through the next administration.

5.  B.Y.O.B. – System of a Down

“Why don’t president’s fight the war? Why do we always send the poor?”  Good questions that deserve answers.

4.  Take the Power Back – Rage Against The Machine

These next 4 years might seem like a long time, but you can make sure your voice is heard long before the 2012 elections.  If you disagree with policy, let your voice be heard.  Demonstrate, protest and make sure those in power know that they work at your pleasure, not the other way around.

3.  Push – Pharoahe Monch

“Sometime you might fall down, but you get back up.”  “If you represent the struggle than PUSH”

2.  Fight The Power – Public Enemy

“Our Freedom of Speech, is Freedoem, or Death”

1.  List of Demands – Saul Williams

“I ain’t afraid of you.  I’m just a victim of your fear”   Don’t let them scare you into submission.  Fear is the first weapon used to get people to fall in line en-masse.  Fear is what got this country behind a false war.  Don’t let it happen again.


Well there you have it.  Good music to play no matter how things turn out today.

What do Jeremiah Wright and Voldemort Have In Common? October 30, 2008

Posted by Robert in Election 08, Humor, Politics.
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1 comment so far

Apparantly both cannot be named.  Watch this guy squirm.

Grow a pair, McCain surrogate.

McCain Campaign Muzzles Muslim McCain Supporter October 21, 2008

Posted by Robert in Election 08, Humor, Politics.
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2 comments

Meet Daniel Zubairi, a grassroots organizer for the McCain/Palin Campaign.   Above you’ll see Daniel bravely speak out against the hatred being spewed by one of a bunch of bad apples that have been making the McCain rallies sound a lot like some other rallies that you can find in old news reels. 

Daniel confronts 2 people that are handing out stickers and spewing lies about Barack Obama being connected to radical Islam and Communism.  As an Muslim and a McCain campaign organizer, Daniel really sticks it to them and says in no uncertain terms that they do not represent the views of the campaign and the campaign does not condone their actions.

Wonderful!  This is just the kind of straight-talk that I would expect from the McCain campaign.  The only problem is, the campaign is not allowing Daniel to speak to the press. 

Wow.  Just when they get a chance to allow an official representative of the campaign to speak out against hatred, fear and lies as a campaign tactic, they muzzle him.

I thought McCain said he was proud of the people at his rallies? I agree that it’s foolish to judge a candidate based on the lowest of his supporters.  I’m sure that Obama has radical Islamic supporters just like McCain has White Supremacist supporters.  But I’m positive that if the press wanted to interview an official member of the Obama campaign that confronted a group of radical Islamics at an Obama rally, they would be allowed.   Why is the McCain campaign extending it’s theme of press black-outs?  It hasn’t worked with Sarah Palin, and it’s certainly not going to work with a like-able character like Daniel.

Let Daniel Speak!

Debate #3 – A good day to be a plumber. October 16, 2008

Posted by Robert in Election 08, Humor, Politics, Television.
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3 comments
Joe the Plumber

Joe the Plumber

Well, the third and last Presidential Debate has come and gone.   Only 20 short days till Americans across the country will file into tiny closets with curtains and little switches and decide the fate of the free world.   We’re in the most trying economic time in our country since men with curly mustaches were jumping out of windows in the thirties.   We continue to lose lives of our finest and bravest citizens in deserts half a world away.   Osama Bin Laden is still breathing.  We can’t seem to figure out how to provide fair and comprehensive healthcare to all our citizens.

But what subject seemed to be on the minds of the 2 candidates more than any other during the debates tonight?

This guy.

The bald guy on the left, not the handsome black guy on the left.

Joe is the bald guy on the right, not the handsome black guy on the left.

That’s right.  Joe is f’ng famous for asking Barack Obama about his tax policy about a week ago.   He is now a household name.  Well, a household first name and then a profession.  But you really have to give it to Barack.  Maybe Joe is not voting for him still, but Barack took 5 minutes and answered his question in a clear, concise manner that did not pander to him or insult his intelligence.

Here is a short impression of Joe when he first heard his name mentioned tonight.

Joe was mentioned by John McCain no less than 24 times and by Barack Obama 4 times.   I really hope that’s enough.  Because I really can’t make a decision about a candidates position until the 34th or 35th time they run something into the ground.

If you want to score this debate, I’d call it a clean sweep by Obama.  Sure McCain got in a really good line about Barack tying him to Bush.  Even I gave him style points when he said “If you wanted to run against Bush you should have ran 4 years ago”.  But still, Obama remained his calm, cool and collected self.  McCain still looked creepy when he smiled or laughed.  And frankly Obama won the I look and act presidential contest.

Again, both candidates performances I’m sure really sat well with their bases.  But the independents are simply not going to go for a guy they don’t want to look at for the next 4-8 years.  It’s sad, but true.  No matter what their stance on the issues, Barack looks like a president and John looks like that uncle you avoid at parties.

The Exact Moment That Decided This Election October 8, 2008

Posted by Robert in Election 08, Humor, Politics, Television.
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2 comments
Both candidates have these same expressions right now.

Both candidates have these same expressions right now.

There have been many gaffes during this campaign.  Both Republicans and Democrats have put their feet in their collective mouths  more times than one blog can cover.

But McCain managed, in 3 short seconds, to (at least in my humble estimation) loose his last remaining chance at winning this election and the last remaining shred of respect that I had for him.

Here’s what he did.

Oh. My. Rude. Senator.

I really can’t think of a time where I’ve had such an appalled reaction while watching television.  Well, maybe season 2 of HEROES.   But my wife, myself and I’m sure a great many American’s all shared a collective “WTF” moment when the Arizona senator referred to his opponent as “That One”.

I mean good Lord.  Barack Obama has a title, sir.  It is “Senator”.  Just like yours is.  You could have probably gotten away with “my opponent”, “Barack” or even “Barack-man Turner Overdrive”.  But “That One”?  Hell ta’ tha’ no.

I will now offer at no charge a retort for Senator Obama to use during the 3rd and final debate.

Who was it that voted with the Bush Administration over 90% of the time? Who was having cake with Bush while people drowned en masse in the wake of Katrina?  Who can’t smile without it looking really, really creepy?  You may not be able to guess, but it’s “Gramps” over there.

Use it in good health, Senator Obama and feel free to thank me later after your inauguration.

Shocking Obama Secret Revealed! October 2, 2008

Posted by Robert in Election 08, Humor, Politics, Social Commentary.
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5 comments

Senator Obama has been pulling the wool over the American peoples eyes for too long. It really pains me to say this because I really had high hopes for him to turn this country around and usher in a new kind of politics. But thank God that Florida resident Andy Lacasse has uncovered the horrible truth.  You see, after discovering Obama’s dirty secret, Andy decided to fashion this articulate and well researched sign in his front yard to warn potential Obama voters of their folly.

I know,  you must be as shocked as I was.  Here I was going about my day telling people to vote for Barack Obama because I though he stood a real chance of getting our country back from the neo-conservative, Bush/Cheney/Rove years and then this pops up.  Man, I’d say that I’m crushed, but that would be too much of an understatement.

To think that not only was Barack Obama lying to us about his past, but he’s not even eligible to be President.  Everyone knows that you have to be a natural born American citizen over the age of 35 and you must not be a finely woven cotton fabric.   To think that I was going to vote for a “Half-Breed Muslin” to be my president.  His mother probably slept with a length of polyester when she was in college or something.

And don’t you left wing wack-jobs even think about going down to Andy’s home in Barefoot Bay, Florida and trying to remove his sign or take away his freedom of speech.  He’s waiting for you.  Just read the warning he gave to local news channel 13.

“I got nothing good to say about Obama. If I see anybody touching that sign, I got a club sitting right over there.”

That’s right folks.  A Club, and he don’t mean he’s going to fix you a tasty multi-layered sandwich either.  He means this kind of club.

Andy Locasste

Andy Lacasse - An artist's conception

Well, thank you Andy Lacasse.  Your open mindedness, pursuit of truth and mastery of the English language has shown me the light.

Talking Ducks Teach Lessons on Inflation October 1, 2008

Posted by Robert in Humor, Politics, Social Commentary.
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2 comments

This one’s for you, Mark.

Hey McCain!! Cheer Up Gloomy Gus! September 30, 2008

Posted by Robert in Election 08, Humor, Politics.
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1 comment so far

The video above contains a recent gaffe that McCain made while discussing US independence from foreign oil.  He makes the mistake of saying that we need to end our dependence on oil provided by “Hugo Chavez or other parts of the Middle East” that can be easily destabilized.

Now of course he made a goof.  But honestly that’s not what I’m talking about here.  I’m sure he knows that Venezuela is not in the Middle East.

What I want to draw your attention to, is how freaking sad he looks.  It’s as if all the wind has been taken out of his sails.    Sure he’s down in the polls since this financial crisis has been the topic of choice in the MSM and the campaign trail alike.  Sure he’s getting some flack from even the most conservative republicans for choosing Sarah Palin as his running mate.   Sure, he programmed his Tivo wrong and it taped “John and Kate Plus 8” instead of the John Wayne marathon on AMC.  But is that any reason to look like a sad sack?

If you’re not happy, then embrace your unhappiness and tell us about it.  Don’t worry about being seen as grumpy, It’s ok.  Grumpy is cool now.   Maybe you can capture the emo vote.

Good Depression? GOOD DEPRESSION? Screw that, this is gonna be the best depression ever!! September 29, 2008

Posted by Robert in Humor, Politics.
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1 comment so far
(Getty Images)

(Getty Images)

So how the hell did we get here?  As I type, the Dow is down over 600 points and the house has failed to pass the bailout bill that everyone except an overwhelming amount of normal Americans believe we need.  Sure, this is most likely just a very scared market working it’s way though a whole lot of bureaucratic uncertainty, but in case

Democrats are once again blaming the Republican’s for not getting their party unified.  Republicans are once again blaming the Democrats because they feel that the bill that was put forth was lacking any real substance and would end up doing more harm than good.

Of course, the answer lies somewhere in the middle.  But that’s always the trick isn’t it?

While you’re waiting to see what’s to come of your 401(k), perhaps you’re still a little confused as to why you’re in this situation if you’re like the majority of Americans who do their jobs and pay their taxes on time and are just looking to live comfortably.

His aim is also truth.

His aim is also truth.

Well very (very, very, very) good folks over at Public Radio International’s “This American Life” put together a wonderful program called “The Giant Pool of Money” that does a wonderful job explaining exactly what happened to bring us here.  It goes through the sub-prime debacle with enough interesting narrative to please the easily bored and enough hard facts and figures to please the more analytical among us. It’s a bit long for you short attention span web 2.0 types, but it might just be the most important thing you did today to better understand the situation that the world markets have found themselves in.

Best of all, you can listen to it in it’s entirety here.

And please do listen, because then you will know and knowing is half the battle.