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The Exact Moment That Decided This Election October 8, 2008

Posted by Robert in Election 08, Humor, Politics, Television.
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Both candidates have these same expressions right now.

Both candidates have these same expressions right now.

There have been many gaffes during this campaign.  Both Republicans and Democrats have put their feet in their collective mouths  more times than one blog can cover.

But McCain managed, in 3 short seconds, to (at least in my humble estimation) loose his last remaining chance at winning this election and the last remaining shred of respect that I had for him.

Here’s what he did.

Oh. My. Rude. Senator.

I really can’t think of a time where I’ve had such an appalled reaction while watching television.  Well, maybe season 2 of HEROES.   But my wife, myself and I’m sure a great many American’s all shared a collective “WTF” moment when the Arizona senator referred to his opponent as “That One”.

I mean good Lord.  Barack Obama has a title, sir.  It is “Senator”.  Just like yours is.  You could have probably gotten away with “my opponent”, “Barack” or even “Barack-man Turner Overdrive”.  But “That One”?  Hell ta’ tha’ no.

I will now offer at no charge a retort for Senator Obama to use during the 3rd and final debate.

Who was it that voted with the Bush Administration over 90% of the time? Who was having cake with Bush while people drowned en masse in the wake of Katrina?  Who can’t smile without it looking really, really creepy?  You may not be able to guess, but it’s “Gramps” over there.

Use it in good health, Senator Obama and feel free to thank me later after your inauguration.


Shocking Obama Secret Revealed! October 2, 2008

Posted by Robert in Election 08, Humor, Politics, Social Commentary.
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Senator Obama has been pulling the wool over the American peoples eyes for too long. It really pains me to say this because I really had high hopes for him to turn this country around and usher in a new kind of politics. But thank God that Florida resident Andy Lacasse has uncovered the horrible truth.  You see, after discovering Obama’s dirty secret, Andy decided to fashion this articulate and well researched sign in his front yard to warn potential Obama voters of their folly.

I know,  you must be as shocked as I was.  Here I was going about my day telling people to vote for Barack Obama because I though he stood a real chance of getting our country back from the neo-conservative, Bush/Cheney/Rove years and then this pops up.  Man, I’d say that I’m crushed, but that would be too much of an understatement.

To think that not only was Barack Obama lying to us about his past, but he’s not even eligible to be President.  Everyone knows that you have to be a natural born American citizen over the age of 35 and you must not be a finely woven cotton fabric.   To think that I was going to vote for a “Half-Breed Muslin” to be my president.  His mother probably slept with a length of polyester when she was in college or something.

And don’t you left wing wack-jobs even think about going down to Andy’s home in Barefoot Bay, Florida and trying to remove his sign or take away his freedom of speech.  He’s waiting for you.  Just read the warning he gave to local news channel 13.

“I got nothing good to say about Obama. If I see anybody touching that sign, I got a club sitting right over there.”

That’s right folks.  A Club, and he don’t mean he’s going to fix you a tasty multi-layered sandwich either.  He means this kind of club.

Andy Locasste

Andy Lacasse - An artist's conception

Well, thank you Andy Lacasse.  Your open mindedness, pursuit of truth and mastery of the English language has shown me the light.

McCain wins debate, loses staring contest. September 27, 2008

Posted by Robert in Election 08, Humor, Politics, Television.
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(AP Photo/Ron Edmonds)

(AP Photo/Ron Edmonds)

Well, it wasn’t quite the slug-fest that I wanted it to be, especially from Obama, but we did gain some key insights as to how both sides have decided to play their hand in these debates.

Honestly, I do have to give a narrow win to McCain on this one, but very narrow and won solely based on sharp direct and often times, dare I say it, unsportsmanlike attacks on Obama.   But in an age where the sound-bite rules, he definitely got in some good punches.   The only problem is, he did it at the expense of looking very un-presidential.

I was absolutely amazed at McCain’s inability to make eye contact with his opponent.  It was downright eerie.   Even after being told several times to direct their retorts at each other, McCain refused to give his opponent the satisfaction of even acknowledging him with one fleeting glance. He did, however, manage to correctly use the word “Festooned”. But that is certainly not going to silence any of the people saying his age is an issue.

As a quick aside, this is my attempt to recreate a text message from one 7th grader to another that correctly uses the word “Festooned”.,

nce nu jckt. it’s 100% festooned w cul stf.

Ok, now that I got that out of my system…

McCain also made one of his strongest and most shrewd moves when he said that he thought that Obama “Didn’t possess the knowledge or experience” to serve as President. I’m really sorry, but I thought that one of the things that the Right keeps repeating is that Obama is too “Ivy League”.   There are certainly things that someone looking to find fault with Obama could find, just read those chain emails from your weird aunt.  But I haven’t seen one crazy email that has challenged Obama’s intelligence.

If you’re confused as to where I’m going with this, here’s a hint.

Obama is smart.  Really smart.  Possibly too smart for some who try to paint him as a sort of  douche-bag valedictorian type.  But personally, I want my president to have a higher SAT score than I did.

Now, I know that John McCain is smart as well, but even if he wasn’t I think Obama proved that he has the demeanor of a person who realizes that personal attacks like that don’t belong in the political discord.  Obama may have not had as many sound bites as McCain, but he did have a few very good ones and more importantly than anything else, he continued to look Presidential as McCain continued to look sloppy.

Did I mention that the hardened Navy Pilot/POW who supposedly looks everyone in the eye wouldn’t look the skinny Harvard grad in the eye?  Yeesh…

Now I certainly thought that Obama missed some chances and was being a bit too polite.  Several times you could tell he really wanted to set something straight after McCain took a swing at him but either let McCain steamroll him or allowed the subject to be changed.   This is something that he will most definitely need to correct in the future debates.

So if you’re keeping score, McCain squeaked by with a victory by taking the low road.  The good news for Obama fans is that this was the debate where everyone said McCain would have the upper hand.  So because he was able to stand up and not get completely crushed, it’s a moral victory.   Now on to the VP debate and the second and third Presidential Debates.

If the McCain campaign want’s some advice for the coming debates, Number 23 has some.

Update: Well, it looks like I saw the debate differently than most uncommitted voters.  That’s what this CBS poll says anyway.

CBS News and Knowledge Networks conducted a nationally representative poll of approximately 500 uncommitted voters reacting to the debate in the minutes after it happened.

Thirty-nine percent of uncommitted voters who watched the debate tonight thought Barack Obama was the winner. Twenty-four percent thought John McCain won. Thirty-seven percent saw it as a draw.

Forty-six percent of uncommitted voters said their opinion of Obama got better tonight. Thirty-two percent said their opinion of McCain got better.

Sixty-six percent of uncommitted voters think Obama would make the right decisions about the economy. Forty-two percent think McCain would.

Forty-eight percent of these voters think Obama would make the right decisions about Iraq. Fifty-six percent think McCain would.

We will have a full report on the poll later on. Uncommitted voters are those who don’t yet know who they will vote for, or who have chosen a candidate but may still change their minds.

The margin of sampling error could be plus or minus 4 percentage points for results based on the entire sample.

The First Debate: It’s on like Donkey Kong! September 26, 2008

Posted by Robert in Election 08, Humor, Politics.
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The McCain campaign confirmed that John McCain will in fact be at the debate tonight.   There’s still no resolution about the proposed bailout, so I’m not sure what exactly has changed other than possibly coming to realization that having either Obama or McCain in Washington trying to help figure this out was a huge mistake, but either way the political junkies of the world are rejoicing.

This means that the VP debate that has everyone in the media and blogosphere salivating will in all likelihood occur, as the McCain campaign’s only excuse to do away with it is now gone.

Oh man, I’m so excited.  I’m not sure what the tone of the debate tonight will take, but I am sure that you’ve probably will never hear so many foreign policy questions answered with domestic finance responses again in your life.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that the debate will look something like this…

or this.

Letterman is Pissed, McCain is Scared September 25, 2008

Posted by Robert in Election 08, Humor, Politics, Television.
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John Paul Filo/CBS, via Reuters)

(Photo: John Paul Filo/CBS, via Reuters)

Something is amiss in the world of John McCain. I don’t know what he’s thinking, I honestly don’t.   But what I do know, is that you do not cancel on David Letterman on the day of taping.


Lucky for us, someone at CBS leaked the as yet to air segments where Dave shows McCain what happens when you  mess with a man who has a TV show with his name on it.

In the world of late night television, if you cancel your appearance the day of you better be dead or dying.  It’s basically like standing up your bride on her wedding day.   Of course this is a little different, because in this case John McCain decided to walk down Broadway and marry some other girl. Namely, Katie Couric.

I’m honestly not sure what I’m more upset at, the slap in the face to one of the greatest living broadcasters, or the fact that McCain doesn’t think it’s a good idea for the American People to see him in a debate in one of the most domestically, internationally and economically unstable times in the history of our country.

McCain says it’s because he thinks this is time to focus on fixing the economy and making sure that this bailout passes through congress.   Great, that’s wonderful but I’d believe it more if it was his idea and if he was ahead in the polls.   Unfortunately neither of those things are true.  It was in fact Barack Obama who first approached the McCain campaign to suggest that in this instance they present a united front and release a joint statement about the  importance of the bailout bill.  But you might be confused because John McCain decided to go public before responding to the Obama Campaign and say that he would like Obama to join him in suspending campaigns and postponing the debate until this crisis has passed.

How very convinient.   Let me ask you Senator McCain,  what happens when things get tough if you become president?  What happens if Russia pulls a couple Destroyers up to our coast at the same time oil is at $200 a barrel and the Dow is down 800 points in a day?   Do you get to postpone being president?  Because based on your actions now, that’s the impression that I get.   I also don’t appreciate you insulting my intelligence by attempting to play this brand of “but seriously folks” politics.  It comes off very disingenuous.

Sure, times are tough.  But now is the time to really show us what you’re made of.  You want to be president?  Show us.  Don’t retreat out of the public eye and away from the scrutiny of the press.  Stay and show us what you would do if you were in charge.    Debate your opponent.  Because you owe it to us to stand next to the man you think you would be better than, and tell us why.

Also, this is fun…