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From the mouth of babes. Well… one really slutty babe. August 6, 2008

Posted by Robert in Election 08, Politics.
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He said what!?

He said what!?

See… this is why blogging is weird.  This post is going to cover something that is just going to be everywhere today;  On-line, television and stupid chain emails from people who can’t figure out how to friggin’ send a link to youtube and still need to send a giant windows media file to their entire address list.  IT’S NOT PROPER INTERNET ETIQUETTE PEOPLE!!!  For the record, neither is Caps Lock.

Anyway,  sometime late yesterday one of the victims of John McCain’s baseless attack ads last week decided to make their own ad responding to his silliness.   This victim showed such strength of character and such wisdom beyond their years that I feel our country has no choice but to stand up and take notice.

Paris Hilton, you’ve won me over.

In what is sure to become one of the most clever and well timed acts of political comedy in recent history, Paris Hilton decided to respond to McCain’s lambasting with a well thought out energy plan and a few gross generalizations about his physical appearance and well-being that were so biting, McCain might be tempted to have her write his next spot.   In the ad, she calls him a “wrinkly white-haired guy”. Accuracy check? Yep, I’ve looked at google images, that one is true.   The ad claims he’s the “oldest celebrity in the world”.  While I’m sure this one is not true, he’s certainly up there.  I mean face it, if McCain was an out of date movie star he’d be one of those guys like Ernest Borgnine or Sid Caesar.  If someone asked you if they were alive, you’d have to think long and hard about your answer.

McCain’s original ad features both Paris Hilton and Britney Spears as examples of the vapid celeb-type that he would like you, the American Voter to equate Barack Obama.  When I first saw the ad I thought “this is stupid.  McCain is hitting Barack below the belt.  Paris and Britney are worse than 8 Hitlers.”  But after seeing Paris’ response, I feel like he’s just being mean.  I mean even Paris and Britney have feelings.   What the hell gives anyone the right to use someone completely uninvolved with the presidential campaign for the purpose of defaming someone who is.   It’s just not cricket.

But the joke is very literally on McCain.  Paris’ response is quite simply comedic perfection.   It lampoons herself at the same time it lays waste to his holier-than-thou attitude in the last few week (months).  As if it was a bad thing for Barack to outside of the country to directly address the problem of global opinion and foreign relations.

The scariest part of this “ad” is how much sense it makes.   She suggests a energy compromise between the two candidates theories.   She proposes that we proceed with offshore drilling with strict environmental oversight while pressuring Michigan to produce more alternative fuel and hybrid automobiles so that ultimately America becomes more energy independent in the long term.   While I’m still not convinced about offshore drilling, because I’ve seen to many expert reports that it’s just not going to make that much of a difference in getting us off of our addiction to foreign oil and I’m sure Michigan is well aware that they need to wake up and start seeing the writing on the wall about alternative fuel vehicles, she presents the plan in a cool and collected manner that all politicians should take note of.   It would also help if they were not middle to old aged men and became sultry sex-pots.

The bottom line; McCain got caught.   He thought that he was going after Barack using an easy celebrity target.  Apparently he didn’t count on Paris being so willing to speak up for herself or being able to assemble a team of writers much more witty than the one he’s assembled.  Or, maybe he’s just not that involved with this part of his campaign and he’s letting his lackeys make too many of his campaign decisions for him.   As I’ve stated in the past, this just doesn’t seem like the McCain I used to love.   He’s changed, and not the good kind of rallying change that Barack has based his campaign on.  He’s changed,  like when your best friend in high school gets a girlfriend and suddenly he’s got to be friends with all of her friends and he starts saying that he likes Eve 6 and you’re all like “Dude, you don’t like Eve 6! Eve 6 is the worst!” and then he’s all like “Dude, you just haven’t given them a chance.”

That’s what McCain is like now. He’s become your douche-bag ex-best friend from high-school who now likes Eve 6 because his new girlfriend does.

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Comments»

1. Kim - August 6, 2008

Thank you for sharing this. I hadn’t seen it!

2. Chef Derek - August 6, 2008

Oh. My. God. That was easily the funniest thing I’ve seen in…. Well, it’s been a while.

3. Levine Sucks - August 6, 2008

Your best blog yet. The last line sums it up.

4. BlueFranco - August 6, 2008

This makes McSame look like the old white haired troll that he is in real life, and to think it took Paris to point it out.
bwahahahhaha…the Dems should have Paris write their copy for their talking points!

5. pizzabagel - August 7, 2008

thank god for this blog- i’d never know what was going on in the world otherwise. i don’t have the energy to read news articles. commentary on the news by someone i know is much more fun.

ps. i quoted eve 6 in the yearbook. still wanna be friends?


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